Years ago I was shown a personal letter written by Patti Davis, the daughter of Ronald and Nancy Reagan. She wrote about how whenever she was around her mother, she felt like she had to walk on “eggshells.” Over the years, she shared in writings like her 1993 memoir The Way I See It that the Reagan household was a “tense” battlefield, that her mother was “abusive” and her father was “distant.” She always felt unappreciated, criticized, unnecessary in the life of her parents whose bond with each other was primary. “They were complete unto themselves,” she once said, although in the latter years when her father’s Alzheimer’s worsened, she became more forgiving with both of her parents.
Her story has been on my mind since news broke Thursday that Hunter Biden has been indicted on nine charges involving tax evasion (taxes which he has since paid) dating from 2016 to 2019 when he was dealing with drug addiction. This follows the collapse of a plea deal during the summer. Although it seems clear that the scale of the charges result more from his family name than the seriousness of his infractions, it’s not his legal issues that particularly interest me. Rather, it’s his emotional relationship with his father.
When Joe Biden was vice president, he confronted his son over his addiction and his need for rehab. “Dad saved me,” Hunter wrote in his memoir.. “He never let me forget that all was not lost. He never abandoned me, never shunned me, never judged me, no matter how bad things got.”
In the weeks before Joe Biden announced his presidential campaign, he and other family members sought to perform an intervention when Hunter came to a dinner. When Hunter angrily departed, his father chased after him. “He grabbed me, swung me around, and hugged me,” he wrote. “He held me tight in the dark and cried for the longest time.”
While in rehab, his father reportedly texted Hunter this: “Good morning my beautiful son. I miss you and love you.” It was part of a package of contacts between father and son used by Republicans determined to cast doubt on the closeness of their relationship and possible business dealings. But what it revealed to many (including me) was a father’s unconditional love.
When then-candidate Biden was attacked by his opponent for his son’s “cocaine use” during the first presidential debate in 2020, Biden responded, “I’m proud of him. I’m proud of my son.”
There once was a time when such personal family matters involving high-profile political figures would not see the light of day. But in today’s more exposed media environment, such details are part of the public package. In this case, they tell me about the depth of compassion of the man who holds the nation’s highest office.
How important is compassion in politicians? Do you think it makes a difference when conducting their professional responsibilities and deciding on policy? Would the absence of compassion influence your voting choices?
It’s interesting to note that, in 2018, after the deadly mass shooting in the Tree of Life synagogue in Pittsburgh, Patti Davis wrote an op-ed about the heartlessness of the 45th president at a time when the nation needed consolation. “This president will never offer comfort, compassion or empathy to a grieving nation,” she wrote. “It’s not in him.”
As always, I look forward to reading your thoughts and observations—and the opportunity for this community to learn from each other. Please do be respectful in your comments.
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*Photo: President Biden embracing his son Hunter at his 2021 inauguration. (Photo by Brendan Smialowski/AFP via Getty Images)
Compassion is critical in our leaders - and in all of us - if we are to live successfully in society. More, it’s an indicator of high intelligence, because it’s transcends judgment. President Biden demonstrates this daily.
Compassion, empathy, love and respect are all important qualities for each of us and especially for the leader of our Nation. President Biden has them all.
It's so important in anyone, anywhere. The news about the latest affront by whomever on Hunter Biden knocked the pegs out from under me. I'm still enraged, it's as if they know that what they are doing will hurt Joe Biden more than anything else could. I see no humanity in their action only petty violence against it. It was the last straw for me. I've tried desperately to say "oh well this to will pass" but I'm so done with them. There is no compassion in the people who run the Republican Party or in the person who's decision it was to take this road, none. I have voted in every election since I was 21, that 58 years, but I would not vote for a Republican if it were my only choice, not ever.
It is hugely important for all politicians, from the School Board up to the Presidency. These people are elected to whatever office to serve the people in whatever level district they represent. How can they serve people if they don't care about them?
Compassion is absolutely necessary - otherwise what we get is a sociopathic destroyer. And, contrary to the belief of many ignorant people, sociopaths are not better than compassionate people at managing the economy, foreign relations, border security, or anything else for that matter.
Compassion is not a weakness. It takes more strength to stand up for individuals that are having physical or mental problems. The president was just being a good father!
Yes, compassion is an admirable virtue but an able leader, when dealing with other leaders or state matters, must be able to balance the compassion from his heart with logic from his head. I believe Pres Biden has that balance. I believe you do as well.
Compassion is the engine of the heart-to-conversation. It allows us to forget our differences and recognise the pain of the other. From this, you can give an authentic response and feel a sense of belonging to the human community.
Humanity needs compassion because we are all flawed. Americans are foolish to expect perfection of their leaders. Those who claim to be perfect tell the most transparent lie possible. Presidential pardons grant leave of just sentences out of compassion in special circumstances when administered wisely. Abuse of pardon power was one more proof of inhumanity and immorality in DJT. In this feature, as in others, the choice is clear between a kind person and a cruel one.
In a perfect world, compassion and empathy would not only be desirable in politicians, but a prerequisite for holding office. Any learned psychologist could surely devise an appropriate test.
Sadly, we don't live in that world, and the majority of the current leadership, certainly in the GOP, proves itself to be morally bankrupt and devoid of one iota of empathy for their constituents. At the federal level, the GOP House introduces not a single bill to benefit Americans; instead, they blindly follow Trump's directives to exact his revenge and retribution. At the state level, GOP lawmakers blatantly ignore their constituents' wishes. Over and over, polls show the majority of voters are against abortion bans, yet Republicans continue to introduce increasingly restrictive bans. New Hampshire just introduced a bill for no abortions after 15 days. Days!
Last week the Senate introduced a bill to ban assault weapons and to require background checks, something most voters want. Republicans quashed the bill, the same week the United States reached a grim record for the most mass shootings since 2006. Did we feel any empathy or compassion from the GOP? No; only empty platitudes offering 'thoughts and prayers'—let's be clear, for blood on the GOP's own NRA-beholden gun-toting hands.
For these reasons among many it is essential we have a leader such as Joe Biden who has the empathy to feel, truly feel, what his constituents are going through. He understands pain, loss, and struggle and has the compassion to care about that pain in others. Is this as important as the ability to govern? It is part of that ability, and what makes Biden a more effective leader. I also submit that there is no one in U.S. politics that better understands U.S. policy, bipartisanship, economics, Constitutional integrity, and geopolitics.
If we are to maintain our grand experiment of democracy in the United States, it is a moral imperative that we elect leaders with compassion and empathy. This is still a beautiful nation with much for which to hope, but we must work together to elect those who can lead us into realizing that future.
I'll never understand the vitriol and LGBrandon from the extreme right wing of the GOP and some evangelicals. I feel this man's unconditional Christ like love for his family and country. This writing struck me in the feels when his son walked out of an intervention and his father ran after hom and just held him.
Today in the Washington Post, Ruth Marcus discusses the tragic case of Kate Cox, the young woman in Texas who is pregnant with a fetus that has Trisomy 18, a condition that is almost always fatal and that for Ms. Cox, threatens her health and even her life. Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton is described as someone who deserves "condemnation for his unnecessary, inexplicable cruelty" due to his actions countering the judge who granted Ms. Cox permission to get an abortion and threatening any hospital that allows the procedure while taking the issue to the Texas Supreme Court.
So well written Steven...huge kudos to you. We are all so fortunate to live in a time under this administration that is led by an empath. I will grant you that POTUS is not perfect but what an accomplished, driven person to take our divided country to places that we have only dreamed of. And to have a Leader with such a predominant empathy and understanding. We are so lucky. Now to just hope that POTUS and his staff and re-election group can rally enough momentum and support to allow President Biden to lead us for four more years. The country needs him; we all do.
In a tremendous coincidence, I was listening to an episode of Preet Bharara's podcast earlier today and he had a conversation with Jonathan Karl about his new book. At one point Karl quoted a former high level Trump official who had written himself a computer note characterizing Trump, which was later shared it with the author:
“He lacks any shred of human decency, humility or caring. He is morally bankrupt, breathtakingly dishonest, lethally incompetent, and stunningly ignorant of virtually anything related to governing, history, geography, human events or world affairs. He is a traitor and a malignancy in our nation and represents a clear and present danger to our democracy and the rule of law.”
And that's what people *inside* his administration were thinking. The people closest to him, presumably "on his team" who you would think he'd have even the tiniest human motivation to treat with decency.
It seems to me that compassion for others is a necessary character of fully functioning humans and is necessary for society to flourish. It seems today Politicians who lie, name call, bear fault witness and show no basic decency are ubiquitous. I believe we should shun and avoid (and never vote for)such persons.
Perhaps compassion is seen by some as a weakness- particularly in authoritarian nations. However the great American presidents: Washington, Lincoln, Roosevelt and others cared, showed magnanimity and were successful because their actions and policies brought citizens together improving the public welfare and nation.
This post, Steven, affected me because my family, like millions of others, knows what having a family member with an addiction is like. It's maddening and heartbreaking all at the same time. President Biden loves his son unconditionally. That is the ultimate act of compassion. He can still touch him, tell him he loves him every day, and be there for him. My family member was found dead a day before his 36th birthday, a newlywed and father of 2 young children who will now grow up without their dad. He struggled with addiction most of his life and tried so hard, but...no guarantees in life. I believe that Pres. Biden is a caring and compassionate man ultimately trying to do everything he can to better our lives and do his best for the world.
Love and compassion are two of the most important qualities that the president must have. We saw the same thing with JFK, with Obama, and now with President Biden, whose transcend just his immediate family to the rest of the country and the world. He’s experienced deep loss and pain and it makes him easily relate to those who are suffering the same.
Beautiful piece and a crucial query, Steven. I believe empathy (compassion) is a crucial requirement for effective leadership. Without empathy, the would-be leader is untethered from any sort of self-control. He has no “heart” and no “soul.” His decisions are invariably wrong. He has no ability to inspire others. And he is useless in any sort of crisis. He’s simply an ego. That’s why he’s diagnosed as a malignant narcissist.
I really love this post. When so many on Substack scream Biden needs to show strength, this is the first I’ve read on showing compassion. We are all forgivable humans and the capacity to attach to others with compassion is our only hope. That is not my opinion that is science. Relationship will always be the answer. Please America wake up and see that a mentally ill former guy has the capacity to attach to no one. He will not see you. Compassion is utterly alien to him. This is a life or death choice. I’m voting for the compassionate guy.
This discussion hasn't been far from my mind in the 24 hours since Steven posted it. From my view point, our country and every one of us, is approaching a crossroads. Will the direction we choose be decided by anger, fear, and hate? Or from a place of acceptance and compassion towards each other. The time for choosing our future direction is quickly approaching. I'm choosing compassion.
Papa died in 1964. He was 54. I was 15. In the few years that I had him, although he was sick most of that time, he provided me and my sister with lessons in love and compassion. I miss him. Of course, I would support a politician who exhibited those qualities; but, of course, that politician needs to have other qualities, like truth telling, empathy, humility and the like. Kind of like Mr. Biden.
Thank you, sir. This is a beautifully written piece about a true American hero. President Biden shows, on a daily basis, what a real leader looks like. He deserves our respect for all he’s been through and continues to do for all of us, in the face of all his personal tragedies. Anyone who doesn’t see that is blind to the truth and is just a hater...and we all know what haters do....
Compassion, empathy & sympathy are critically important for elected officials! How else can they best comprehend what we’re going through? The old “walk a mile in my shoes” philosophy! Trump has neither of these characteristics!
Steve, I write as the Founder of Operation Savannah, a 501c3 that provides recovery support to veterans (families) who battle C-PTSD, and its manifestations, one of which is addiction. We can be found at : https://OperationSavannah.org : if anyone wants to check our credentials. I have C-PTSD from my military service in 1975. Trump dodged the draft, which was more his dad than him, looking at the facts. He has a clear form of dissociative disorder, which manifests in aloofness, and an inability to relate to others. The world to him as how he sees it! On the other side, Biden is surely compassionate, but with that level of compassion comes denial and an inability to objectively evaluate the facts. In reality both are equally dangerous error! In one case the inability to hear advice to soften the position, and in the other the ability to hear the advice to harden their position. If I had to choose which side, it would be to side with compassion, for that person is MORE likely to have sound advisors who will work with them force their voice into the argument. We see this in effect with Biden, who is listening to his advisors on Israel. The UN vetoed the motion for a cease fire. We saw this in effect with Trump. He only listened to his advisors who said what he wanted to hear. On 4th March we will see the courts start their process to determine exactly how that went down.
“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.” - Dalai Lama XIV
The lack of empathy or compassion is not a rare thing, but, in general, we regard the lack of it a character flaw. It is obvious in their behavior at all levels, and they see the presence of it in real life as weakness.
Standing before a field of fallen soldiers and calling them losers, I think, would show remarkable lack of compassion. Every tyrant and despot reveal it and other character flaws in their their ability to destroy anyone they see as a hindrance to their plans, real or imagined.
Compassion and empathy are essential for not only politicians, but for everyone.
My daughter and her family lived in TN a few years ago. Her husband was sick, out of work for 6 months. I took a nurse job there to help them out, my grandsons were both in diapers. I moved back “home” (Chicago) to care for my ailing mother, and the kids wanted to move back home too, because they wanted the boys to know their grandparents. I gifted them the deposit for a home.
Compassion is essential in life, especially in the leader of a nation. President Biden shows up at every crisis, some events he needs to put things in motion to help those in need first. When I read complaints about his timing, I know those people have zero clue about how government works.
Compassion is definitely important in leadership. Compassion in a leader leads to trust and understanding between the leader and the people he/she leads. My son teaches Leadership in Business School (PhD in I&O Psychology). And I have proofread many of his papers - so I feel I know more about leadership than I did before. LOL A leader is an example of "what to do" - "how to act". I think we saw with our previous president (45) - what his example has created. He has created a group of followers who lie, are crooks, filled with hate, and in politics for themselves, ....who believe in, and spread conspiracy theories for greed and power
I wrote this as a Guide to the Supervisors I supervised ( I deleted a couple that pertained directly to the Organization I worked for - Intensive In-home Intervention for Families in Crisis
LINDA’S PHILOSOPHY OF SUPERVISION
1.) When it is a choice between “rules” or “people” – people come first. A good
supervisor inspires their people to do good work – to want to do a good job –
not to point out what is wrong all of the time. Power either brings out the best
in you, or the worst. Watch carefully which direction you are going.
Derrick Jensen Quote from “Walking On Water”: “Power. If I’ve got power or authority over someone, it’s my responsibility to use that only to help them. It’s my job to accept and praise them into becoming who they are. But if I see someone misusing power to harm someone else, it’s just as much my responsibility to stop them, using whatever means necessary.”
2.) You need to be someone they feel comfortable coming to with a problem –
not someone they are afraid of what you are going to say.
You are not being a good Supervisor when you tell people what is wrong with them. You are being a good supervisor when you lead them into seeing what is right with them – this encourages them to do better. Praise encourages. Hard criticism does not.
Derrick Jensen, “Walking on Water”: When people know what problem they can solve using the gifts that are unique to them in all the world, they often know what they need to do next.”
3.) Supervisors sometimes make the mistake of trying to get people to fit into a
“mold” (like trying to get squares and triangles into a round hole) There are
many valid ways of approaching a task. As Supervisor, your way is only one
way of doing a job. Your job is to encourage and inspire your workers to
discover their own unique way.
4.) A Supervisor’s role is not to rule their people but to assist and guide them.
Respect is a large component of this; treat your employees with respect at all times, as you would want to be treated. Respect the people in your care into becoming the best employees they are capable of becoming. The way to earn respect is to be respectful. We as people, are ultimately the relationships we share with others. How you treat your employees actively demonstrates who you are as a person.
5.) When making a decision, always decide in favor of what will be the most
helpful and is coming from a place that you can explain to others if need be.
In other words, know WHY you are making that decision and are able to
easily answer why you decided that way if questioned about it. Then you will
never have to be defensive about your decisions, and can easily explain your
reasons for the decisions you make.
6.) Always answer questions honestly – then you never have to try to remember
what you said, and will always be able to explain your answer and will not
have to be defensive. When answering a question, or making a statement,
ask yourself: “Is this statement that I’m about to make, is it true?”
And when you are sure that it is true, then ask if it is helpful?
7.) Always come from a place of integrity and honesty for yourself, Family
Preservation, CKCAC, DCBS , and the family. You are always
demonstrating who you are to others.
8.) The Supervisor/Director’s job toward therapists is:
a.) support their people,
b.) guide them in the right direction,
c.) stand up for them when necessary,
d.) make their jobs as easy to do as possible.
e.) co-ordinate training
f.) provide guidance
g.) make the office atmosphere a place of acceptance and comfort –
because our jobs are stressful enough without having stress and
rigidity in the office.
The office should be a “safe port in the storm” of our job.
h.) respect workers to be able to do their jobs, encourage their ability and
creativity, but also provide stability and certainty in what they need to
do. Inspire them to do their best.
i.) Provide some structure in order to create a feeling of stability, but not so
much structure that you create a feeling of rigidity where there is no
room for creativity and individualism
j.) When giving praise, explain what it is that they did well – in specific
detail. Eg. I like the way you used modeling to demonstrate Time Out.
This is an example of good feedback in a case file
A bad example would be: “You need to do this better”
k). You are a mentor and role model to the people you supervise
com "with, together" + pati "to suffer" -- literal sharing of affliction or suffering with another.
Compassion is probably the most important attribute of a leader... who needs to assess the results of her/his policies for real people... share in their suffering when called for. Thankfully President Biden has intelligent compassion in abundance. It is the lack of compassion that most marks the dumb animals/stupid humans like 45, who can't even put an intelligent statement together unless it is hateful and trying to harm someone.
Clearly important to have. And effectively communicate. Not so easy. . . . Meanwhile, how important is compassion among voters? In the battle of greed, anger and hatred vs. compassion, empathy and mutual concern, seems like the former is winning. Could you imagine someone insulting relatives of Fox news people the way they gratuitously insult Biden. I thought human compassion was baked into the human psyche. Doesn't seem that way tho, in the middle east, in much of eastern Europe and certainly Russia, in much of the mid-west and south, and certainly, not on Fox. Their NY office is surrounded by beautiful holiday decorations. You'd think, just maybe, the Christmas spirit might waft through their otherwise hate-filled chambers. IMHO.
My heart… Compassion is something that if not given can harm you deeply.
President Biden is an incredibly compassionate leader. He loves his family without strings attached. He knows loss as do I.
My daughter was murdered in an act of domestic violence. I found her. When she was alive we did everything together. Compassion was a part of every day life for us. We were flawed human beings yet we tried to work through our feelings.
President Biden is an incredible parent as we know his story about the loss of his wife and daughter. The injuries of both Hunter and Beau and the amazing care he gave both sons.
Steven, thank you for this poignant newsletter today. I feel that compassion is the highest quality we can aspire to in life, along with wisdom. I love America, America because of your compassion :-)
I fear nothing but people like you who babble on with name calling and propaganda; but while we still have it, we are free to state our opinions. I grew up in a great country through numerous wars, etc., and I want it to stay that way without the woke bologna, DEI, etc etc but then people like you don't even understand that concept. So happy holidays and live in your happy place while you are still allowed. BTW, only liberals bought us advances, oh my, it's worse than I thought!!! Civilization must have laws, not the chaos you are beginning to see of late.
The phrase "public servant" says it all: to SERVE other people, not to self-aggrandize. Think of what OTHER people need, not what you want. Compassion in leaders is absolutely essential for a nation to be strong, for citizens to care for one other.
"It was part of a package of contacts between father and son used by Republicans determined to cast doubt on the closeness of their relationship and possible business dealings." And that says it all.
I believe a politician's compassion, honesty, integrity, and character matter hugely. They set the tone for the whole country. Our children absorb this tone. As we have witnessed over and over, Trump's coarseness, vulgarity, dishonesty and meaness have affected his followers and, really, the whole country. I really feel we cannot survive another Trump presidency. The nation's children are watching.
I think his deep compassion is 2nd only to president Biden's intelligence. He's far more likely to calmly discuss any problems with other leaders. Trump, with his hugely bloated ego, would whip out the nuclear football before he'd ever agree to listen to any constructive criticism of himself.
I trust Joe Biden to do all he can to keep America safe and free. He'll definitely be getting my vote again in 2024. At the same time, I'll be hoping to see Trump end up in a cold, dark prison cell.
If I could, I want to lift a tiny piece of the heavy burden on President Biden’s shoulders. He is a truly remarkable human being and I am grateful to support him.
Compassion is critical in all humans, not all humans are capable, and certainly not the politicians we have now- in voting for a representative, city council, senator, president, whoever it may be, consider the person's ability for compassion and empathy along with his/her political views. That goes a long way
Compassion is critical in our leaders - and in all of us - if we are to live successfully in society. More, it’s an indicator of high intelligence, because it’s transcends judgment. President Biden demonstrates this daily.
Compassion, empathy, love and respect are all important qualities for each of us and especially for the leader of our Nation. President Biden has them all.
It's so important in anyone, anywhere. The news about the latest affront by whomever on Hunter Biden knocked the pegs out from under me. I'm still enraged, it's as if they know that what they are doing will hurt Joe Biden more than anything else could. I see no humanity in their action only petty violence against it. It was the last straw for me. I've tried desperately to say "oh well this to will pass" but I'm so done with them. There is no compassion in the people who run the Republican Party or in the person who's decision it was to take this road, none. I have voted in every election since I was 21, that 58 years, but I would not vote for a Republican if it were my only choice, not ever.
It is hugely important for all politicians, from the School Board up to the Presidency. These people are elected to whatever office to serve the people in whatever level district they represent. How can they serve people if they don't care about them?
Compassion is absolutely necessary - otherwise what we get is a sociopathic destroyer. And, contrary to the belief of many ignorant people, sociopaths are not better than compassionate people at managing the economy, foreign relations, border security, or anything else for that matter.
Compassion is not a weakness. It takes more strength to stand up for individuals that are having physical or mental problems. The president was just being a good father!
Yes, compassion is an admirable virtue but an able leader, when dealing with other leaders or state matters, must be able to balance the compassion from his heart with logic from his head. I believe Pres Biden has that balance. I believe you do as well.
Compassion is the engine of the heart-to-conversation. It allows us to forget our differences and recognise the pain of the other. From this, you can give an authentic response and feel a sense of belonging to the human community.
Humanity needs compassion because we are all flawed. Americans are foolish to expect perfection of their leaders. Those who claim to be perfect tell the most transparent lie possible. Presidential pardons grant leave of just sentences out of compassion in special circumstances when administered wisely. Abuse of pardon power was one more proof of inhumanity and immorality in DJT. In this feature, as in others, the choice is clear between a kind person and a cruel one.
In a perfect world, compassion and empathy would not only be desirable in politicians, but a prerequisite for holding office. Any learned psychologist could surely devise an appropriate test.
Sadly, we don't live in that world, and the majority of the current leadership, certainly in the GOP, proves itself to be morally bankrupt and devoid of one iota of empathy for their constituents. At the federal level, the GOP House introduces not a single bill to benefit Americans; instead, they blindly follow Trump's directives to exact his revenge and retribution. At the state level, GOP lawmakers blatantly ignore their constituents' wishes. Over and over, polls show the majority of voters are against abortion bans, yet Republicans continue to introduce increasingly restrictive bans. New Hampshire just introduced a bill for no abortions after 15 days. Days!
Last week the Senate introduced a bill to ban assault weapons and to require background checks, something most voters want. Republicans quashed the bill, the same week the United States reached a grim record for the most mass shootings since 2006. Did we feel any empathy or compassion from the GOP? No; only empty platitudes offering 'thoughts and prayers'—let's be clear, for blood on the GOP's own NRA-beholden gun-toting hands.
For these reasons among many it is essential we have a leader such as Joe Biden who has the empathy to feel, truly feel, what his constituents are going through. He understands pain, loss, and struggle and has the compassion to care about that pain in others. Is this as important as the ability to govern? It is part of that ability, and what makes Biden a more effective leader. I also submit that there is no one in U.S. politics that better understands U.S. policy, bipartisanship, economics, Constitutional integrity, and geopolitics.
If we are to maintain our grand experiment of democracy in the United States, it is a moral imperative that we elect leaders with compassion and empathy. This is still a beautiful nation with much for which to hope, but we must work together to elect those who can lead us into realizing that future.
I'll never understand the vitriol and LGBrandon from the extreme right wing of the GOP and some evangelicals. I feel this man's unconditional Christ like love for his family and country. This writing struck me in the feels when his son walked out of an intervention and his father ran after hom and just held him.
We don't need beancounters running our country, we need fully-realized people who stand by those they love, through thick and thin.
Today in the Washington Post, Ruth Marcus discusses the tragic case of Kate Cox, the young woman in Texas who is pregnant with a fetus that has Trisomy 18, a condition that is almost always fatal and that for Ms. Cox, threatens her health and even her life. Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton is described as someone who deserves "condemnation for his unnecessary, inexplicable cruelty" due to his actions countering the judge who granted Ms. Cox permission to get an abortion and threatening any hospital that allows the procedure while taking the issue to the Texas Supreme Court.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2023/12/08/texas-abortion-heartbeat-law-kate-cox-ken-paxton/
Apparently in Texas compassion is a weakness and must be extinguished from politicians. Who cares how much its citizens suffer?
So well written Steven...huge kudos to you. We are all so fortunate to live in a time under this administration that is led by an empath. I will grant you that POTUS is not perfect but what an accomplished, driven person to take our divided country to places that we have only dreamed of. And to have a Leader with such a predominant empathy and understanding. We are so lucky. Now to just hope that POTUS and his staff and re-election group can rally enough momentum and support to allow President Biden to lead us for four more years. The country needs him; we all do.
Compassion is a top priority for any leader. Without compassion there is no true leadership qualification.
In a tremendous coincidence, I was listening to an episode of Preet Bharara's podcast earlier today and he had a conversation with Jonathan Karl about his new book. At one point Karl quoted a former high level Trump official who had written himself a computer note characterizing Trump, which was later shared it with the author:
“He lacks any shred of human decency, humility or caring. He is morally bankrupt, breathtakingly dishonest, lethally incompetent, and stunningly ignorant of virtually anything related to governing, history, geography, human events or world affairs. He is a traitor and a malignancy in our nation and represents a clear and present danger to our democracy and the rule of law.”
And that's what people *inside* his administration were thinking. The people closest to him, presumably "on his team" who you would think he'd have even the tiniest human motivation to treat with decency.
I think compassion and empathy are important in any public service. Sadly, 15%-20% of the population thinks it is a weakness.
It seems to me that compassion for others is a necessary character of fully functioning humans and is necessary for society to flourish. It seems today Politicians who lie, name call, bear fault witness and show no basic decency are ubiquitous. I believe we should shun and avoid (and never vote for)such persons.
Perhaps compassion is seen by some as a weakness- particularly in authoritarian nations. However the great American presidents: Washington, Lincoln, Roosevelt and others cared, showed magnanimity and were successful because their actions and policies brought citizens together improving the public welfare and nation.
This post, Steven, affected me because my family, like millions of others, knows what having a family member with an addiction is like. It's maddening and heartbreaking all at the same time. President Biden loves his son unconditionally. That is the ultimate act of compassion. He can still touch him, tell him he loves him every day, and be there for him. My family member was found dead a day before his 36th birthday, a newlywed and father of 2 young children who will now grow up without their dad. He struggled with addiction most of his life and tried so hard, but...no guarantees in life. I believe that Pres. Biden is a caring and compassionate man ultimately trying to do everything he can to better our lives and do his best for the world.
Love and compassion are two of the most important qualities that the president must have. We saw the same thing with JFK, with Obama, and now with President Biden, whose transcend just his immediate family to the rest of the country and the world. He’s experienced deep loss and pain and it makes him easily relate to those who are suffering the same.
Beautiful piece and a crucial query, Steven. I believe empathy (compassion) is a crucial requirement for effective leadership. Without empathy, the would-be leader is untethered from any sort of self-control. He has no “heart” and no “soul.” His decisions are invariably wrong. He has no ability to inspire others. And he is useless in any sort of crisis. He’s simply an ego. That’s why he’s diagnosed as a malignant narcissist.
I really love this post. When so many on Substack scream Biden needs to show strength, this is the first I’ve read on showing compassion. We are all forgivable humans and the capacity to attach to others with compassion is our only hope. That is not my opinion that is science. Relationship will always be the answer. Please America wake up and see that a mentally ill former guy has the capacity to attach to no one. He will not see you. Compassion is utterly alien to him. This is a life or death choice. I’m voting for the compassionate guy.
This discussion hasn't been far from my mind in the 24 hours since Steven posted it. From my view point, our country and every one of us, is approaching a crossroads. Will the direction we choose be decided by anger, fear, and hate? Or from a place of acceptance and compassion towards each other. The time for choosing our future direction is quickly approaching. I'm choosing compassion.
Papa died in 1964. He was 54. I was 15. In the few years that I had him, although he was sick most of that time, he provided me and my sister with lessons in love and compassion. I miss him. Of course, I would support a politician who exhibited those qualities; but, of course, that politician needs to have other qualities, like truth telling, empathy, humility and the like. Kind of like Mr. Biden.
Thank you, sir. This is a beautifully written piece about a true American hero. President Biden shows, on a daily basis, what a real leader looks like. He deserves our respect for all he’s been through and continues to do for all of us, in the face of all his personal tragedies. Anyone who doesn’t see that is blind to the truth and is just a hater...and we all know what haters do....
Steven ..proud to 100%support BIDEN
Believe without Biden we’d have already
Seen our Democracy destroyed and pray Americans VOTE BLUE ..VOTE BIDEN
History will credit Biden as one of top
Presidents we’ve ever had … thanks for
all you do to help us all blessings,Marsha
Compassion, empathy & sympathy are critically important for elected officials! How else can they best comprehend what we’re going through? The old “walk a mile in my shoes” philosophy! Trump has neither of these characteristics!
Steve, I write as the Founder of Operation Savannah, a 501c3 that provides recovery support to veterans (families) who battle C-PTSD, and its manifestations, one of which is addiction. We can be found at : https://OperationSavannah.org : if anyone wants to check our credentials. I have C-PTSD from my military service in 1975. Trump dodged the draft, which was more his dad than him, looking at the facts. He has a clear form of dissociative disorder, which manifests in aloofness, and an inability to relate to others. The world to him as how he sees it! On the other side, Biden is surely compassionate, but with that level of compassion comes denial and an inability to objectively evaluate the facts. In reality both are equally dangerous error! In one case the inability to hear advice to soften the position, and in the other the ability to hear the advice to harden their position. If I had to choose which side, it would be to side with compassion, for that person is MORE likely to have sound advisors who will work with them force their voice into the argument. We see this in effect with Biden, who is listening to his advisors on Israel. The UN vetoed the motion for a cease fire. We saw this in effect with Trump. He only listened to his advisors who said what he wanted to hear. On 4th March we will see the courts start their process to determine exactly how that went down.
“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.” - Dalai Lama XIV
The lack of empathy or compassion is not a rare thing, but, in general, we regard the lack of it a character flaw. It is obvious in their behavior at all levels, and they see the presence of it in real life as weakness.
Standing before a field of fallen soldiers and calling them losers, I think, would show remarkable lack of compassion. Every tyrant and despot reveal it and other character flaws in their their ability to destroy anyone they see as a hindrance to their plans, real or imagined.
Compassion and empathy are essential for not only politicians, but for everyone.
My daughter and her family lived in TN a few years ago. Her husband was sick, out of work for 6 months. I took a nurse job there to help them out, my grandsons were both in diapers. I moved back “home” (Chicago) to care for my ailing mother, and the kids wanted to move back home too, because they wanted the boys to know their grandparents. I gifted them the deposit for a home.
Anyone with compassion would do the same.
Compassion is essential in life, especially in the leader of a nation. President Biden shows up at every crisis, some events he needs to put things in motion to help those in need first. When I read complaints about his timing, I know those people have zero clue about how government works.
Compassion is definitely important in leadership. Compassion in a leader leads to trust and understanding between the leader and the people he/she leads. My son teaches Leadership in Business School (PhD in I&O Psychology). And I have proofread many of his papers - so I feel I know more about leadership than I did before. LOL A leader is an example of "what to do" - "how to act". I think we saw with our previous president (45) - what his example has created. He has created a group of followers who lie, are crooks, filled with hate, and in politics for themselves, ....who believe in, and spread conspiracy theories for greed and power
I wrote this as a Guide to the Supervisors I supervised ( I deleted a couple that pertained directly to the Organization I worked for - Intensive In-home Intervention for Families in Crisis
LINDA’S PHILOSOPHY OF SUPERVISION
1.) When it is a choice between “rules” or “people” – people come first. A good
supervisor inspires their people to do good work – to want to do a good job –
not to point out what is wrong all of the time. Power either brings out the best
in you, or the worst. Watch carefully which direction you are going.
Derrick Jensen Quote from “Walking On Water”: “Power. If I’ve got power or authority over someone, it’s my responsibility to use that only to help them. It’s my job to accept and praise them into becoming who they are. But if I see someone misusing power to harm someone else, it’s just as much my responsibility to stop them, using whatever means necessary.”
2.) You need to be someone they feel comfortable coming to with a problem –
not someone they are afraid of what you are going to say.
You are not being a good Supervisor when you tell people what is wrong with them. You are being a good supervisor when you lead them into seeing what is right with them – this encourages them to do better. Praise encourages. Hard criticism does not.
Derrick Jensen, “Walking on Water”: When people know what problem they can solve using the gifts that are unique to them in all the world, they often know what they need to do next.”
3.) Supervisors sometimes make the mistake of trying to get people to fit into a
“mold” (like trying to get squares and triangles into a round hole) There are
many valid ways of approaching a task. As Supervisor, your way is only one
way of doing a job. Your job is to encourage and inspire your workers to
discover their own unique way.
4.) A Supervisor’s role is not to rule their people but to assist and guide them.
Respect is a large component of this; treat your employees with respect at all times, as you would want to be treated. Respect the people in your care into becoming the best employees they are capable of becoming. The way to earn respect is to be respectful. We as people, are ultimately the relationships we share with others. How you treat your employees actively demonstrates who you are as a person.
5.) When making a decision, always decide in favor of what will be the most
helpful and is coming from a place that you can explain to others if need be.
In other words, know WHY you are making that decision and are able to
easily answer why you decided that way if questioned about it. Then you will
never have to be defensive about your decisions, and can easily explain your
reasons for the decisions you make.
6.) Always answer questions honestly – then you never have to try to remember
what you said, and will always be able to explain your answer and will not
have to be defensive. When answering a question, or making a statement,
ask yourself: “Is this statement that I’m about to make, is it true?”
And when you are sure that it is true, then ask if it is helpful?
7.) Always come from a place of integrity and honesty for yourself, Family
Preservation, CKCAC, DCBS , and the family. You are always
demonstrating who you are to others.
8.) The Supervisor/Director’s job toward therapists is:
a.) support their people,
b.) guide them in the right direction,
c.) stand up for them when necessary,
d.) make their jobs as easy to do as possible.
e.) co-ordinate training
f.) provide guidance
g.) make the office atmosphere a place of acceptance and comfort –
because our jobs are stressful enough without having stress and
rigidity in the office.
The office should be a “safe port in the storm” of our job.
h.) respect workers to be able to do their jobs, encourage their ability and
creativity, but also provide stability and certainty in what they need to
do. Inspire them to do their best.
i.) Provide some structure in order to create a feeling of stability, but not so
much structure that you create a feeling of rigidity where there is no
room for creativity and individualism
j.) When giving praise, explain what it is that they did well – in specific
detail. Eg. I like the way you used modeling to demonstrate Time Out.
This is an example of good feedback in a case file
A bad example would be: “You need to do this better”
k). You are a mentor and role model to the people you supervise
The problem with humanity in a nutshell, as interpreted by Charles Bukowski:
“We’re all going to die, all of us; what a circus! That alone should make us love one another, but it doesn’t.”
Critical. Look what happened when we had a leader who totally lacked compassion. I don’t want to go there again.
com "with, together" + pati "to suffer" -- literal sharing of affliction or suffering with another.
Compassion is probably the most important attribute of a leader... who needs to assess the results of her/his policies for real people... share in their suffering when called for. Thankfully President Biden has intelligent compassion in abundance. It is the lack of compassion that most marks the dumb animals/stupid humans like 45, who can't even put an intelligent statement together unless it is hateful and trying to harm someone.
Clearly important to have. And effectively communicate. Not so easy. . . . Meanwhile, how important is compassion among voters? In the battle of greed, anger and hatred vs. compassion, empathy and mutual concern, seems like the former is winning. Could you imagine someone insulting relatives of Fox news people the way they gratuitously insult Biden. I thought human compassion was baked into the human psyche. Doesn't seem that way tho, in the middle east, in much of eastern Europe and certainly Russia, in much of the mid-west and south, and certainly, not on Fox. Their NY office is surrounded by beautiful holiday decorations. You'd think, just maybe, the Christmas spirit might waft through their otherwise hate-filled chambers. IMHO.
My heart… Compassion is something that if not given can harm you deeply.
President Biden is an incredibly compassionate leader. He loves his family without strings attached. He knows loss as do I.
My daughter was murdered in an act of domestic violence. I found her. When she was alive we did everything together. Compassion was a part of every day life for us. We were flawed human beings yet we tried to work through our feelings.
President Biden is an incredible parent as we know his story about the loss of his wife and daughter. The injuries of both Hunter and Beau and the amazing care he gave both sons.
Thank you for this timely article Mr. Beschloss.
Steven, thank you for this poignant newsletter today. I feel that compassion is the highest quality we can aspire to in life, along with wisdom. I love America, America because of your compassion :-)
Smearing the president's son to spur a relapse, just to hurt his father? Would right-wing power elite do that?
Yes.
Their only goal is power for themselves, regardless of how many people are harmed. Utterly depraved.
I fear nothing but people like you who babble on with name calling and propaganda; but while we still have it, we are free to state our opinions. I grew up in a great country through numerous wars, etc., and I want it to stay that way without the woke bologna, DEI, etc etc but then people like you don't even understand that concept. So happy holidays and live in your happy place while you are still allowed. BTW, only liberals bought us advances, oh my, it's worse than I thought!!! Civilization must have laws, not the chaos you are beginning to see of late.
Our leaders ought to model the behavior we all strive for. Being compassionate is what we all ought to be.
Compasssion Steven Beschloss is what draws me to every aspect of who you are as a beautiful patriot and historian and
Human being ..my thirty years in Hospice
Grief counseling is a gift from God and
Subscribing to your America Substack
Enriches my soul...heartfelt ❤️Marsha
The phrase "public servant" says it all: to SERVE other people, not to self-aggrandize. Think of what OTHER people need, not what you want. Compassion in leaders is absolutely essential for a nation to be strong, for citizens to care for one other.
"It was part of a package of contacts between father and son used by Republicans determined to cast doubt on the closeness of their relationship and possible business dealings." And that says it all.
I believe a politician's compassion, honesty, integrity, and character matter hugely. They set the tone for the whole country. Our children absorb this tone. As we have witnessed over and over, Trump's coarseness, vulgarity, dishonesty and meaness have affected his followers and, really, the whole country. I really feel we cannot survive another Trump presidency. The nation's children are watching.
I think his deep compassion is 2nd only to president Biden's intelligence. He's far more likely to calmly discuss any problems with other leaders. Trump, with his hugely bloated ego, would whip out the nuclear football before he'd ever agree to listen to any constructive criticism of himself.
I trust Joe Biden to do all he can to keep America safe and free. He'll definitely be getting my vote again in 2024. At the same time, I'll be hoping to see Trump end up in a cold, dark prison cell.
Biden's compassion does not extend to killed, maimed & starving Palestinians.
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If I could, I want to lift a tiny piece of the heavy burden on President Biden’s shoulders. He is a truly remarkable human being and I am grateful to support him.
Compassion is critical in all humans, not all humans are capable, and certainly not the politicians we have now- in voting for a representative, city council, senator, president, whoever it may be, consider the person's ability for compassion and empathy along with his/her political views. That goes a long way